Wednesday, April 2, 2008


I like going on vacation. Who doesn't? Vacation is great because you can do what you want to do at home (absolutely nothing) without having to worry about people thinking you're lazy. I'm on vacation! Screw "doing something with my life!". For these two weeks you can consider me a wino who's been displaced from the inner city and placed on a beach after winning a round of Wheel of Fortune. Turns out the answer was "pigeons".

When you're on vacation, in order to feel good about yourself you need to send people notification that you are there. So we send postcards that read things like "Wish you were here" and "Greetings from beautiful Guatemala!". Secretly we want to write "Nyah nyah, we're in a tropical paradise and you're not!" but we keep it PC because we know we'll have to face these people soon. I think my biggest problem with postcards is that there's no security. You write it, you hand it to the guy, 2 weeks after you get back from your vacation it arrives looking all beat up and worn. Anyone could be reading what you wrote, so you'd better not write anything you don't want everyone along the route to see. "Dear Dad, don't tell Mom I broke her vase in 10th grade but I'm in Hawaii. I just wanted to let you know. Also, the doctor called, I think I may have herpes. It's pretty bad by this point." I can't imagine the bru-ha-ha's that must go on at the post office, just rifling through thousands of these post cards. "Hey Jerry, you've got to come see this one." "Oh, herpes, tough luck. He must have been down at the local Peek-a-boo".

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